My Mid-Life Crisis!

Maybe it's b/c I'm about to turn 30 in a little over a month?  I dunno...  These days, I am dreaming of what I want to do when I grow up, where I want to travel, what my passion is, what my calling is, what the future may hold (or may not), what I should've done differently thus far, what I should do instead of only dream of doing, how to make what I want and dream of happen, and so on and on and on.

I love arts, being crafty, making things, cooking, and anything that lets me create and do things however I'd like without having to do them perfectly.  I had an etsy shop where I tried to sell my paintings and various artwork.  I sold a ton to friends for awhile and one to someone I didn't know on the other side of the country.  I was invited to sell my work at a festival but it rained and I didn't go. :(  So that all sort of fizzled and I stopped posting on my etsy site.  I took my work to a consignment shop in Pensacola over a month ago.  Nothing has sold (or so they say).  For the past few months, I've tried to pursue BabyCakes by Traci.  A few people in the past have ordered diaper cakes and everyone has raved about how cute they are.  However, I have not sold a single one since starting the blog and passing out about 100 business cards.  Maybe I am an awful salesman.  I am discouraged and frustrated.  I have this dream of making a living by making and selling my creations.  I just have no clue how to do it!  I am not one to love to socialize and "sell" myself and my work.  I'm actually quite self-conscious of my creations and don't even always love everything I make.  Sometimes I wish I had pursued graphic design, as I had started to in college, instead of nursing.  I'm too busy working as a nurse to try to pay off my tons of student loans to be able to pursue the arena I'm most passionate about.  Anyway, blah blah blah, right?  Am I boring you yet? ;)

Another thing that has been on my mind lately (other than babies, which my husband continues to be terrified to think of and discuss BUT that's a whole other blog post in itself) has been how I should be serving the Lord by serving others.  I like to think that I do that as a nurse but I crave something more.  I keep going back to the idea of going on a mission trip to another country.  With that comes the fact that I feel bad for not feeling motivated to go to church, pray, or read my bible as much as I should.  Being an imperfect human being sucks sometimes, don't ya think? :)  I need to grow closer to God every day b/c I sure can't afford to go on mission trips constantly.  I want to serve in my community here but never seem to do that on my 3 day weekends. 

I want to travel, pay off my student loan so I do not have that burden, be a better wife, friend, daughter, granddaughter, niece, daughter and sister-in-law, and just a better me!  Any inspirational stories out there from my readers to knock me over the head and motivate me to make things happen are welcome. 

On a less dramatic and woe-is-me note, we are going home to NC for a long weekend.  One of my best friends is getting married, and I can't wait to be a part of the celebration!  Congrats, Elizabeth and Mark!  I'm happy to visit home after being away for 4 months.  I will post pictures when I get back!

P.S.- Please pray that God makes this whole oil spill fiasco disappear!!  It is so sad to see the animals dying and the people in the Gulf struggling (fishermen, etc).  We do not see the oil just yet but have heard that tar balls are washing up just a few miles from us.